This week, I did something that maybe wouldn’t be that big of a deal to someone else, but to me, it was huge. I am extremely proud of myself and what I’ve done.
I camped out at Rockefeller center for over 24 hours to see one of my all time favorite artists, Harry Styles. The whole thing was absolutely amazing. I was in the first 20 in line, made some incredible friends, and even more memories. Harry bought us all pizza, we were interviews by Access Hollywood and the Today Show, we were playing music on small speakers, simging along while laying on the freezing concrete tangled in limbs and blankets just to stay warm. It was freezing, even with my layers and blanket, the wind was bitter and my hands felt frozen. I got maybe 20 minutes of sleep. The trips to Starbucks and then getting lost in the NBC building looking for the bathroom at 9 PM, they are something I am going to look back on and be so fond of -especially with how close we were able to get to Harry.
A year ago, I would not have been able to do this. I went to New York City and camped out all by myself. Yes, many people have done it before. But I had been so anxious I hadn’t been able to eat anything but 2 cheese sticks and a fruit cup the day before, barely anything to the days leading up to it. But I went. Even with some thoughts yelling that maybe it wouldn’t be worth it, that I should go home, watch it from my living room. The constant echos when things got a bit hectic that maybe I should leave, that maybe I wouldn’t be able to see, the constant anxiety that wouldn’t go away, it didn’t stop me this time.
I had moments where I was close to leaving. My back ached and I couldn’t feel my hands, the VIP line was almost 2 blocks long and they got let in before we did, the fear of not being able to see kicking in. But I stayed. Even with the crowding, I stayed.
First, because Harry is my favorite artist. He cares about his fans, he put on an incredible show for us. He sounded absolutely amazing, interacted with the crowd. The energy of the plaza was incredible.
Most of all, this trip was a goal to myself to prove to myself and others doubting me that I could do it. And I did.
An incredible man let us into the VIP section. After we asked him nervously if we would be able to see, saying we had been there for as long as we did, he took the 20 of us and let us go back into VIP. I want to thank that man, even though I don’t know his name. Thank you, if you ever get to read this.
I’d like to thank Harry, too. For giving me that bit of hope when he sent pizza and the message he saw us on the street waiting and wanted to help us because he appreciated it. He had no idea how that message really encouraged me to stay the night. This was for him, this trip. But it was also for me.
I got to hear new songs, dance and sing, be seen on the Today Show. I took incredible photos and made dozens of new friends I made memories. Most of all, I made a proved to myself that I was strong enough to take on my anxiety, and win. I might not be very time, and that’s okay. This time, I won.
Thank you, Harry. Thank you, Today Show.