Monthly Archives: March 2015


There are a lot of things I have been in my life:

  • Happy
  • Sad
  • Confused
  • Depressed
  • Angry
  • Hopeless
  • Hopeful

But the thing I am most proud of, is that I decided to be Brave. Brave enough to stand up to the bullies, stand up for the bullied, and to finally, thankfully, stand up for myself.  I nearly killed myself because I was bullied.  My story, sadly, isn’t that unique, except that the bullies didn’t know I was overweight because of a medical problem, all they saw was a fat girl. They didn’t see ME, the girl inside. I had to learn to be brave, and get stronger.  Here’s a song I composed and wrote about it.   We should all learn to #BeBrave, and we can help end bullying.

Sometimes, you need to Be More Than A Bystander  and by standing up for  or standing with someone is the best way to help them.  Please share if you know someone who needs a little courage, a little strength,  some hope, and love. Help them #BeBrave.


Many many thanks to my friend Miette for filming and producing this video.

Just Dance!

When I read the story about  #DancingMan it broke heart, then made it SING! Somebody caught a man dancing, and took photos of him  making fun of him.  #DancingMan saw what they were doing, and hung his head in shame. The caption of the original post read:

Saw this specimen trying to dance the other week.  He stopped when he saw us laughing.


When I was 13, I went to a dance at our local teen center and I was so excited to have a good time.  I had decided to just HAVE FUN, and yes, I danced. I danced until  I overheard a bunch of guys laughing at me, saying, “What is Ally doing dancing, she’s so FAT!”  It broke my heart.  I wrote about it.   It really affected me. Even now, I’m a little self-conscience when I dance. It took me a while, but I have learned to dance again!

Oh, God.  How many times in my life have I stopped doing something I love because other people made fun of me?  How many times I have I hung my head and tried to act like I had I really didn’t think I had  the right, the audacity to embrace joy and happiness even though I’m not what some people think of as beautiful or acceptable!  NO MORE.  Now I do what I want and most of the time I feel great about it.  Sometime, though those old feelings come back and I slink down and hide.   I push myself to remember that I am worthy of feeling, being and doing whatever makes me happy.

I’m SO excited that Cassandra and her crew were able to track down #DancingMan , whose name is Sean, and invited him to a big dance party with lots of women who want to dance with him. It’s gotten bigger and bigger, with Pharrell, celebrity dj’s and others wanting to join in this dance party!

I want in. I want into the fabulous dance party that is about this one man, Sean, who was made to feel awful when all he was doing was dancing. I can’t go to the party, it’s in California, but I sure as hell can have my OWN party the night they they’re dancing!  In my house in Connecticut, I’ll be boogieing down with my family celebrating all that is FABULOUS about dancing-  the freedom, the joy, the way that dancing lets your  laugh with your body to the beat of music that moves your soul.   Not just me, but my Dad, who wept today, remembering being made fun of for dancing, and yet, still will get up and dance with my Mom, because they love each other. My Mom, who laughs and says she does the “preteen girl hop” when she dances, but she still dances,  all the time, and my little brother, who is learning how to dance, and still laughs and loves it!  The bullies haven’t gotten into his head about it, yet. I won’t let that happen.  I will dance, even though I think I’m not good at it, but secretly like to dance with myself.

Won’t you dance with us?  We can ALL be #DancingMan or DancingWoman- let’s just be #DancingPeople and  spend even 5 minutes dancing together, where ever we are. Let’s Be Brave and DO IT!  Who wants in?



Dear One Direction


I was at the point of giving up. I had my hand to my mouth, ready to swallow death but I was fortunately stopped. I stayed up that entire night thinking about how much I didn’t want to do this anymore. I woke up the next morning and the radio was playing your song. I stopped what I was doing, sat down and listened to it. After the song ended I broke down and sobbed for about an hour. I had felt so alone, so disgusting and hopeless at that point. People all around me were constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough, I would never be good enough. It was drilled into my head. I felt like no one would ever think I was beautiful or worth anything, that there was no point in me staying on earth. You changed that, you changed me. It wasn’t an automatic “I am 100% better and now I’m saved!!”. No, not even close. There were still days where I felt like hurting myself, there were still days where I cried myself to sleep, there were still days where I felt like a disgusting blob. But the difference was, I had you.

One Direction

When I felt the urge to do something drastic, I would listen to your songs. When I felt like there was no chance of me being able to be happy, I would watch your videos and they made me feel a bit of that happy that I almost forgot. I started smiling more. It’s amazing how looking at someone else’s smile can make you form your own. I learned all the lyrics to your songs, I sang them day in and day out. I learned how to play your songs on the piano. It helped me get away from the sadness, even if it was just for 2 and a half minutes. You eventually inspired me to start writing my own songs. I’ve written so many that I can’t even count. I have lyric sheets and sheet music littered all over my bedroom. I just started recording my own music. You helped me find a passion that has stuck with me for over 3 years.

I slowly but surely started to get better. I would find myself smiling more every day. I could catch myself laughing for real in conversations. Here I am, years later. I’ll never completely heal, because I don’t think you can be when you go through something like that, but I think I’m happy now, and that’s something I never thought I would be. I learned to love myself, have hope, be confident, go after your passions and spread kindness and love and most of all, how to make myself happy again. All this from a band who doesn’t know and may never know I exist. But that’s alright, because you left a mark on me and now I am going to try to leave my mark on other people. I’m sharing my music, and my story with the world. I’m not the only one that you as a band have helped. There are millions of girls who have been in similar situations as me and feel the same way, and you’ve helped them through their rough times too. Thank you, on behalf of me and the other millions of girls you have helped.

You didn’t save my life, but you helped me save my own. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for that.

Thank you.