Monthly Archives: January 2015

the DUFF

The DUFF- The Designated Ugly Fat Friend.   I don’t know why it’s a THING now to talk about being a DUFF as if it’s a good thing.  Someone sent me a pic of Kylie Jenner wearing a shirt saying “I’m somebody’s DUFF”  and it made me sad.  Why? Because I think being a DUFF is a state of mind.


Some would say, what does Kylie Jenner know about being a DUFF?  I’m not going to question that. I’m going to think that at one point she’s felt like she’s been judged simply by how she looks, compared to others around her and felt lacking.  At 6 foot tall, I usually stand out, or at least heads and shoulders over most people, even the guys. Being overweight in a sea of size 2’s and 4’s, also makes me stand out.  I understand the premise behind DUFF- being the person who looks different, and not what some might think is as attractive who is kept around to make  others look more desirable- but I don’t get why it’s a THING now.    Why would you want to own that you think you’re not as good/pretty/lovable/WORTHY as someone else?  Why do we need to have a label?  WHY can’t we just be ourselves and get on with life?

WHY do we look at people who look different that us, or “societies” idea of beautiful and make it a bad thing? I’ve been told before that I’d be “datable” if I lost weight.   I wasn’t interested in this person before, but once I heard that, I wasn’t interested in even being his friend.

Oh, you’re all kinds of cute and hot and all, I’d even date you if you had  a brain and some common sense!

If I said that to someone, I’d be considered rude, selfish and shallow. Or, maybe I wouldn’t.  I try really hard in my life to NOT judge people by their appearances, and to get to know them.  One of the guys I find most attractive is someone that some peoples do not.  I LOVE his personality.  He’s  witty, sarcastic, SO talented and the kind of guy I’d love to hang out with.  Other judge him on his crazy hair and think otherwise.  I know he and I would have things in common, and  we’d be friends.


If people want to say I’m a DUFF, then I’m gonna own it – I can be a DUFF, but on my own terms.

DUFF Friend


In other words, I’m a friend. A good friend. That is all.





Be Brave and End Bullying Tip 22

Today is Day 22- and a tip that might not be easy, but is important!


It’s simple- if your friends are bullying, you need to tell them, and ask them to stop. Many times, they don’t know what they are doing is bullying, and you can tell them. Sometimes they know exactly what they are doing, and you should call them out. Either way, you really shouldn’t be afraid to let them know that they are bullying, and it’s not acceptable.  Being a good friend means being honest, and being real. Being a real friend means keeping it real.

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Be Brave and End Bullying Tip 21

tip21.jpgIt’s Day 21 of tips to help #BeMoreThanABystander and help end bullying.


Have you ever read  a Twitter stream or gotten a group message that was totally bullying someone? Or worse, about you?   I have, and it nearly broke me. It was cyber-bullying that pushed me over the edge and made me want to kill myself.   I know it’s awful to think that you’re a snitch, or a tattle-tale, but  sometimes you just have to report online bullying and make sure it stops.

Report it, Report it to the outlet that the bullies are using, and report it to adults that can help stop it. It’s not  tattling, it could really help someone.  Bullying has no place on social media.


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