Monthly Archives: November 2014

I am enough

To the person who called me a fat ugly cow, I have something to say to you.  You’re right, I am “fat” but I’m not ugly.  YOU are ugly, because your actions make you so. You’re mean.

I’ve been big my entire life.  Being called fat is a normal thing for me to hear. But what sucks, is that people have to point it out and use my own body against me as an insult.  I have medical issues that cause me to take medication on a daily basis that make me gain weight and makes it hard to lose it.  When you say “just lose weight” or “eat a salad”, trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried multiple things, and it’s still extremely hard for me to lose weight.  Hearing those words that you utter with disdain, for one second, left me feeling completely worthless. I’ve been told that losing weight was the only way I’d be an acceptable part of society. But guess what?  I grew tired of being a shadow who needs to live on the fringe hoping to be deemed “enough”- thin enough, pretty enough, special enough to be worthy. Just because someone is overweight doesn’t mean they are unworthy.  I have learned to love myself for ME. I refuse to let anyone change the way I feel about myself.  I’m not trying to glamorize being overweight or obesity. Trust me, it sucks.  But there’s a lot more to it than just body size. My body doesn’t make me beautiful any more than it makes me ugly.  It’s just a body. It’s not enough to make you hate me, or like me. I am enough.

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When people throw the word “fat” at me, as an insult, I often wonder what the point is they are trying to prove to me or even themselves.  I may not be attractive to you and that’s 100% okay.  My purpose on earth is not to be attractive to you. Everyone has their own opinions and types and that’s fine, as long as you don’t put someone down for not being your ideal of beautiful.  I’ve had guys say to me,

“You have such a pretty face and you’re an amazing person, I’d even date you if you were skinnier.”
“If you were skinnier.”

I’m a great person  with a beautiful face and an amazing  personality but I’m only worth dating if I were a smaller size. It just shows how shallow some people are that the size of the person means more than the person inside.  Here’s a tip:  I’m not going to change myself, just to make myself “acceptable”. I let other peoples opinion about my body  torment me for years.  No one should change to make anyone else happy other than YOURSELF.  A while ago I noticed that so many people shared that they felt the same way I did.  I reminded them that each and every one of us have special gift and are awesome in our own way.  I’m sharing this again for everyone who has felt “NOT ENOUGH” , and as a reminder to myself.

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Decide for yourself that you are ENOUGH– Enough to be happy, enough to be worthy, enough to be whatever and do whatever you want to be.

YOU are ENOUGH.

 

 

I


40 One Direction Things for Christmas.

It’s no secret I LOVE One Direction. My Grandma is always asking me what kinds of things I like, so I put together this list of cool things that are all about 1D.

Thanks for checking out my favorites! What did I miss? Is there a must have 1D thing not on my list?

Disclosure: This page may contain affiliate links- which pay me a very small commission if you purchase from the link.

Can Walmart #BeBrave?

Around Halloween something happened on the Walmart website.  There was a page that was titled “Fat Girl Costumes”.  I am plus sized, or fat,  and I was offended by that page.  I was so offended by Walmart labeling and fat shaming that I did what I do: I wrote about it.  I wrote about being disappointed and sad that a major retailer would just disparage a HUGE demographic that has LOTS of money to spend.  To me it seemed  to send the message that not only were our bodies unwanted and unworthy, but so was our money.  Even after Walmart offered a generic “I’m sorry, that should have never been on our site” message I was determined to never shop there again. I planned to shop  only at places that make it clear they value me and my shopping dollars.  I figured that was the end of it, because Walmart is so big and I’m just me, and I wasn’t going to make any changes. Let’s face it, I’m a teen blogger and they’re Walmart.1297821387705191974walmart-logo-hiA few days later I received an email from the corporate communications director of Walmart. He again apologized and asked if it was possible to speak with me.  Walmart, calling me?  Dan Toporek from Walmart headquarters called me. First and foremost, he apologized and asked if he could explain to me exactly what happened.  It seems an outside contractor whom Walmart hired to categorize and set up pages for them labeled the pages. It was the outside contractor who placed the words there, not Walmart. Walmart took it down as soon as they were made aware of it, but by then, it was too late. It had gone viral. He made it very clear that the contractor had been fired and those words were not the opinion of Walmart, but he took responsibility for it. Dan was very kind and gracious and genuine. In fact, he told that my post actually made a difference to the people at Corporate Walmart because it was made clear that it was something that effected me, it wasn’t just “a story”.

I used this phone call to open up a conversation about why it really bothered me. To me, the whole situation felt like bullying.  Simply by being overweight it is open season for mean comments, nasty catcalls, and hurtful words. I personally have been called disgusting, lazy, and been told I was so fat I was a waste of life and should kill myself, all because I wear a larger sized than other people.  People who are overweight are often bullied. Whatever a person is being bullied for- for being over weight, or gay, for being smart, or dumb, or black or white or for whatever the reason, it’s not ok. Bullying is never ok. Being bullied by a large corporation is also not ok.  I had a chance to explain that to a large corporation, and you know what?   They agreed with me.  When I asked Dan what Walmart does to help end bullying, he told me that they  have an anti-bullying campaign at back to school time, which I had never seen.   The truth is, EVERYONE does anti-bullying at the beginning of the school year, but guess what? They are not very effective. To be really effective you have to be committed to making real change, not just a once a year lip-service to say you are trying.

Bulling doesn’t just occur in September. It happens  every day, every where, all year long.  What we need is for someone with a HUGE reach, like Walmart, to help spread the message that bullying needs to end.

Nearly 100 million people shop at Walmart EVERY WEEK. That’s 1/3 of the American Population, or 4 times the population of Australia. Imagine if all those people saw the message on how to #BeBrave and help stop bullying, what could happen! 

We need Walmart to #BeBrave and to do more to stand up to bullies- starting with retail sites and showing that every customer is a wanted customer. I hope that maybe one day Walmart and I can work together to design a way to help people #BeBrave.  We need to spread the news that even if you’re different, you are worthy. Fat shaming and hatred will never help anyone, but support and care will. Plus sized people do not need to be offered aged, dated and ugly clothing simply because they are bigger sizes, and therefore not worthy of stylish and fashionable clothing. Considering that 67 percent of Americans wear a size larger than 14 means that we ALL want and deserve attractive clothing.   Something good DID come out of this. It started a dialog with Walmart and I that can hopefully make some SERIOUS CHANGES on how business treat people. They are willing to look for ways to help fix the mistake that was made, and for ways to make it better. They can start with helping to stop fat shaming and bullying.  The old adage “the customer is always right” isn’t always correct, however,  that “the customer always should be respected” should be.