Monthly Archives: May 2014

Demi Lovato Helped Me Stay Strong and Be Brave

“You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper”

Those lyrics are some of the only things that kept me alive in 8th grade. On the nights I’d feel the closest to leaving, I would listen to Demi’s songs and sing them to myself, and I’d feel stronger, even if I thought if it was only for one more night.

Demi Lovato has been one of my main role models. Demi went through some similar things as I did, and I relate to her a lot. Her music and her philosophy have helped me become who I am today. Demi’s motto is “Stay Strong”, and that’s all I could do when I was going through a rough time. I repeated her lyrics in my head every day when I felt close to breaking down, and constantly reminded myself that she got through it, and I can too.

Demi is probably one of the most realistic celebrities out there. She inspired me back then, and continues to inspire me now. Demi shared her story to the world and I respect her so much for that. She knew that she wasn’t “fixed” either. You can’t just wake up one day fixed. You don’t just go to the doctor or therapist and *BOOM* become all better. Getting better takes time and work. You don’t see results in just one day. However, if you try, you WILL.  She acknowledges that she isn’t perfect and even better, that she doesn’t have to be.  She keeps a positive mindset and helps other people while she helps herself.  I have so much respect for her, not only for her music, but the way she chooses to live her life.  She enforces that we are all NOT PERFECT BEINGS, and we all make mistakes and mess up and it’s ok, we just need to pick ourselves up and carry on.

Something happened to me as a struggled to Stay Strong.  I decided that I wasn’t going to let anyone make me feel that badly about myself again. I also wanted to help others. I came up with a surefire way that will help end bullying. So in addition to being strong, I learned to be #BeBrave

To get through bullying, you have to Stay Strong.  To END bullying,  you have to #BeBrave.  Being Brave is standing up FOR the bullied, TO the bullies, and FOR YOURSELF. Do this, and bullying will end. For yourself, and others.

She inspired and lent me the strength to become a Warrior.  Now, I am strong.  Now, I am brave.

allybrave

Demi is coming to my area next week for a concert in Central Park. I wish more than anything I could meet her and ask her 2 questions that I’d  answer here:

What happened to make you decided, enough!  I am worth more than this pain they are putting me through, and  How do you find self love and self worth when others try to make you feel like you’re nothing?

If you could meet Demi Lovato , do you have a question you’d like to ask her?  Leave a comment with the question you’d ask.

Please remember to Stay Strong and #BeBrave!


Maybe

There was a time that I wanted to die.

I wore long sleeved sweaters to hide the scars of the cuts I made that I thought would help the pain.  (They didn’t) There was a time where I couldn’t see anything that made life worth living. I had given up.  I was ready…..to just end it all.  As I was preparing  to leave the world of pain I was living in, my Mom found me and told me, “Maybe- maybe there is ONE THING you can find to hold onto. Maybe…if you find ONE THING  that means something,  you can find a way back.  I will help you. Just one thing.”  My Mom gave me her strength, and helped me learn how to do it myself.

From that moment, I found one thing everyday, sometimes every hour,  to hold tight until there were good days more than bad days.  I’m ok now.  In fact, I’m great. I held on until the sun came out again, and I’m glad.

This is my anthem to everyone who feels like there is nothing left worth fighting for.  Because there IS.  Life is worth fighting for.

maybe

There IS a way out of depression.  The bullies  will go away and life will get better. There is NO maybe about it. It really does get better. All you have to do is #BeBrave and hold on. One thing- on day- one minute at a time.

Maybe

I’ll pick up my own pieces
Put my life back together
Fading scars and healing cuts
Make my world hurt not as much
Greener trees and bluer skies
We can finally escape the lies
That had us cornered
By our own thoughts
We’re no longer caught

Maybe I can finally get better
Maybe I won’t have to hide behind these sweaters
The weights off my chest
I can finally breathe
I can finally rest
Maybe I won’t have to run
Maybe I can feel the sun on my skin
Maybe for once
I can finally win

I’ll climb out of my bed
Shake the thoughts out of my head
No one else could save me then
So I saved myself instead
Dry the tears
And wipe my eyes
Silence all the cries
That had me haunted
Trapped inside
But now I won’t have to hide

CHORUS

I won’t cry anymore
I can see life as more than a chore
I can feel my heart
Without my mind getting sore
You can push but I won’t fall
You can’t make me feel small
For so long I was down
But now I’ll stand tall

CHORUS

Maybe…..

by Ally Del Monte ©2104

all rights reserved.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  Thank you. I love you.

 

 

 


Nowhere Safe- Cyber-Bullying Gone Crazy

We all know that cyber bullying is rampant. I’m pretty sure that most of us have been bullied, or know someone who has been bullied. There comes a point, though, when a victim of cyber bullying  can ask for help, and get it to stop. You follow the proper channels,  keep records, and it should end.  But what if it goes beyond just cyber bullying?

What if they hack into your channels, or your wifi?  What if they figure out how to access your devices remotely? What if they were able to listen to your  private conversations and  they knew everything your said? What if you received death threats?  What if they stalk your house, your car, your family?   What if you went to the school, the police, and even the FBI for help? 

What if NO ONE HELPED YOU?

Melody and Julia are two 12 year olds who live in Leander, Texas.  Melody and Julia  have been bullied, harassed, threatened, stalked and have received death threats.  All of it is documented, but nothing has been done to stop it.

They both used to be friends with a  girl names J.  As happens, as it  happened to me,  they had a fight, and then the other girl started talking about them on Instagram and bullying them. The girls mothers, Marti and Christine, spoke with J.’s parents  who denied that their daughter was doing anything- they said she was being hacked.  So the Moms complained to the school, where nothing really was done, and then decided to file a police report.  Even as the police were at her house, taking a report, they were being harassed. ( All the details are on Christines’ Blog) Their parents have reached out to both local and federal  authorities and hired a attorney, yet, the cyberbullying continues.  After receiving message such as this on Instagram:

“…If you don’t kill yourselves, I will. You can go ahead and tell Julia that I am on her account, and I’m going to pretend to be her. I’m going to make everyone hate her.”

Both families deleted all social media accounts, wiped their devices, and carried on, thinking that would end it.  It didn’t. In fact it got worse. Another Instagram account was made  and began sending messages that only could have been heard from inside the girls house – taunts about crying in fear, and being scared to go to school. Then it progressed, horribly, to death threats.

“You are pathetic and I hate you. Just reply all ready. You are a sick
retarded person and I hate you. What else to say? I FU**ING HATE YOU. And
one day soon I will kill you. I will, if it’s the last day I do.”

You would think that a death threat would be enough to stop this, right?  Wrong. It escalated to more harassment, stalking, and death threats.  This is from YESTERDAY.

: twitterthreat2

WHY??  Why isn’t this being taken care of?  I know if these types of threats were being made toward someone at a school, it would be taken  more seriously.  Does someone have to be hurt, or even worse, DIE for it to be taken seriously?   You see, even though they “know” who is behind it, the police say it can’t be “proven”.  The only way is can be proven at this point is with information  provided by Social Media companies who can provide IP addresses. Instagram, who was served with a subpoena doesn’t want to give up the information, because it will “cost too much”. to research.  Will it cost less when someone is dead? 

Cyber bullying doesn’t often go to this extreme. But bullying in any form needs to be taken seriously.  There is so much lip service being given to “anti bullying laws” but oftentimes when it comes down to it,  nothing is being done.  I can’t imagine not being helped when receiving death threats and being harassed, stalked and threatened.  There are some things that you should do if you are  cyber bulled, to help:

  1. Ignore: Do not react or respond. It’s hard, I know but  many times,  just not responding will stop the  attention they are seeking.
  2. Cut Off– Block the bully. You can block them from your phone, your social media accounts,  your computers.  Screen calls from unidentified numbers.
  3. Report Online. Most Social Media sites have TOS (Terms of Service) that you can report bulling behaviors to.  Sometimes service providers can look up IP address and  disclose “anonymous” bullies.
  4. Get Help.  Most states have laws or schools have policies that should help protect you against bullying.  If they can’t, or won’t help you, keep moving up the chain. Even the FBI has an Internet Crime division.
  5. Record:  Keep screen shots, printouts, texts, anything they used to bully you. It’s best to print it out. Also, if they are calling your and bullying you, keep a phone diary of what calls you received.

Cyberbullying is just as hurtful as physical bullying.  And it’s just as much of a crime. We need to prove to the bullies who hide behind screen names that they, too, will be held accountable.

And Melody and Julia?   Stay Strong, and #BeBrave!  It WILL get better.  She WILL be stopped. Have faith.

 

Some more links to help with cyber-bullying from my Mom’s blog, The AntiBullyMom: