Monthly Archives: January 2014

How To Deal With Peer Pressure

Come on, just take it! No one will find out.”

“Aw, the little baby is scared to get caught!”

“Please, just do this for me?”

“You’re such a loser if you don’t drink it…”

I personally don’t like to go out to parties and do “activities” some of my friends enjoy, so I don’t do them. I like to read, go on the internet and cuddle with my cat. But, I’ve heard all of these things said to other people and myself at parties, sleepovers and other events. Being a teenager, I’m put into situations often. Most of the time, the pressure is put onto me by my peers.  Peer pressure is more than just doing drugs and alcohol, however.  It could be pressure to go to a place you don’t want to go to, playing a game you don’t want to play, cutting class, wearing certain things, and acting a certain way towards a person.

Peer pressure is a hard thing to deal with. You’ve probably been through a situation where you’ve been pressured to do something you didn’t feel was right, most people have. The ways I’ve seen people being pressured is making the other person feel guilty, making fun of the person, and trying to force them.

Unfortunately, peer pressure doesn’t go away completely once you grow up, so you should try to learn how to deal with it now.

  • First, listen to your gut. If your gut instinct is to avoid the thing, place, or person, don’t go near them.
  • Saying no is okay. In the end, it’s your life, not theirs, and they shouldn’t try to control you.
  • Stand up for yourself. Make your morals and intentions known.
  • Get out of the situation. If all else fails and your “friends” are still bothering you, leave. It’s alright to make up excuses to get yourself out of a situation that makes you extremely uncomfortable or scared.

I found that the hardest part of dealing with peer pressure is that most of the time the ones pressuring you are your “friends.” If these people are truly worth having in your life, they will respect your decisions and think about your comfort.

Don’t cave in to the pressure. Trust me, I know it’s hard. It’s natural to crave acceptance, and everyone does. But in my opinion, I’d rather be a “loser” who stays at home and sits on the internet until 3 am than be a “popular” or “cool” person who is constantly feeling guilty, uncomfortable and scared. It takes a lot to put your foot down and say no But youneed to do it if you know something isn’t the right choice for you. If your friends are still try to pressure you, just look past the judgmental glares and words and say “SCREW YOU.”

 It is your life and you should decide how to live it, not have other people pressure you into doing what they want.

I get how sometimes you want to cave into just doing what the others want because it’s easier. I’ve experienced it myself and I’ve seen my friends do it as well. I learned to think for myself and make my own decisions and it’s been hard. But at the end of the day, you just have to get the stupid, irrelevant people out of your life. No one’s got time for that.

Now I’m not saying to stay all conservative and never to take risks, because sometimes taking a risk can be the best decision you can make. But there has to be limits and boundaries and you need to find and expand them yourself, not have other people do it for you.

You do you.

It’s your life, live it. Be strong for yourself, and the other people in the same situation as you.

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Be Brave- for Yourself

When I told the story of when I was bullied, I never expected it to get the response it did.  I told everyone how I felt and how it made me want to do.

I felt violated,and hated and worthless. But even more, I felt helpless and powerless.   I think that is what might have pushed me over the edge to decide to kill myself. You see, people knew what was happening to me.    I know that people saw it. I know that people laughed at it. I know that people ignored it.  I felt as it there was a target on me that was bright and bold as neon, but my pain and anguish was invisible.  I tried asking for help from teachers and administrators from school, and that went nowhere, fast.  I was told that if they didn’t see it, they couldn’t do anything about it.

I was screaming for help, but no one could hear me. Those screams nearly drowned out my heartbeat and my soul.

If I only knew then what I knew now, I would know that this was the time to Be Brave.

I should have been brave and stood up to those who were mean to me. I should have SCREAMED at the ones who spat at me and made sure people saw. I should made sure those who tormented me knew  that it was not acceptable and that it would NOT BE TOLORATED. I should have looked every one in the eye who  watched and did nothing  and ask WHY. I should have refused to accept the schools answers that it needed to be witnessed to be addressed and insisted they acted. I should have stood up for myself, but I was so downtrodden it was all I could do to breath.

Now I know better.  You can bet the first thing I do when I feel threatened is to address it.   It doesn’t always require a huge violent response.   I can respond calmly and quietly and let people know that I will no longer be a victim.  I can and will walk away,  un-friend people, block tweets and reblogs and subtweets and  choose not to take part of the  unpleasantness.  Don’t get me wrong, I will raise my voice when needed.  And I will NEVER let this happen to me again. Ever.   I also refuse to let a school tell me that they can’t help me. To be honest, my high school now takes bullying seriously.  Not every school does. There has got to be a way for every school, everywhere to know this is a serious problem and it’s not going away.

I made myself a promise. I will never again be a victim. From now I , am going to BE BRAVE, for myself.

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Have you been bullied?  I encourage you to #BeBrave and stand up for yourself, TO the bullies, and FOR the bullied. Tell me about it. Use #BeBrave.