Monthly Archives: October 2013

Be Brave Twitter Chat

Ever since I shared My Story, I felt like I want to do something, something MORE.  I want to  use  Social Media for something different- not the normal way you think about SOCIAL MEDIA and BULLYING. I want to host a twitter chat about BULLYING- and what we can do about it.

bebravechatMy Mom is also a blogger and a lot of her friends have “Twitter Chats” where they all get together online and  talk about a particular thing with a thing for a while. (Like a hangout)  You use a hashtag, in this case, #BeBrave, to  unify everyone together, and make it easy to follow everyone in the thread.  I thought it would be a GREAT way to get a bunch of people together to talk about bullying.   Teens, and adults.  You see,  we know all the crap we see on social media, and yes, Twitter is a BIG part of it.   Adults want to know how to help.   We ALL need to work together to become aware of this epidemic that is bullying. And yeah, I want to share my #BeBrave hashtag.

  • #BeBrave enough to stand UP TO BULLIES.
  • #BeBrave enough to stand up FOR YOURSELF
  • #BeBrave enough to stand up FOR OTHERS.

Often in Twitter Chats there are prizes, usually hosted by sponsors. There is no sponsor, only me, BUT, there are prizes.  I am providing them myself with the money I earned from shooting a Sweet 16.  I’m giving away 3 $15 gift cards to either Itunes, or Amazon.com and the GRAND prize will be a $25 gift card and a $25 donation in your name to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.   So you can win, and you can give. SEE the linky below:

My Mom, Wendy of @weightsover, and my friends Pauline of @GirlBodyPride and  Brett Martin,  @brettbmartin, a friend who is donating her time to help us run this chat. (she knows ALL about twitter chats and offered to help!) You need to follow them to be part of the chat.

Pauline is giving away a few awesome prizes, too! including 2 copies of her Book, a bracelet from Girl, Body, Pride,and  a 30 minute session of awesomeness that is her consultations.

If you want to send out a shout out to Ellen DeGeneres so that she might pop in, that would be pretty awesome, too.  Please tweet:

“Hey! @TheEllenShow  come talk about #bullying with us at the #BeBrave Chat 10/29 8EST http://allydelmonte.com/?p=378 “

*** in case you didn’t know, Ellen DeGenres is my hero- She stands up to bullies and for the bullied- and I want to be just like her when I grow up- plus I really think she can help spread the message of  “IT WILL GET BETTER****

or you can tweet: Let’s talk about #bullying and how to #BeBrave with @loser_gurls Oct 29th  8est http://allydelmonte.com/?p=378

the URL is your full twitter: www.twitter.com/@loser_gurls  Name is  your twitter handle = @loser_gurls, and your email is just to contact you in case you win a prize.

This is why I am hosting the chat: SO everyone knows it GETS BETTER!

If you are interested in donating prizes for this giveaway, please fill out  THIS FORM and send it back to ally@losergul.com

 


Questions and Answers

I’m really glad I decided to share my story.  Yes, I have had a few negative comments and experiences come through it, but mostly it’s been positive.  Its been shared all over the place- and  I’ve been getting all kinds of questions and comments. Here are some of them:

Help!  A friend is talking about suicide, what do I do?  I told this person to get an adult, right away. Then I told her to share with them the Suicide Prevention Hotline number 1- 800-273-8255. I also told her that if she thought there was an immediate danger, to call the police. I’ve had to do that.  It’s scary, but it’s the right thing to do. Trust me,  the police would much rather be at a check up call and find an upset kid than a dead one.

Why won’t you name the kids who were bullying you?   What would that accomplish at this point?  They are no longer doing it.   They know who they are.  Many of them have apologized to me.   The thing is, if I were to call them out publicly, then I’d be the bully. If they are uncomfortable reading my post, maybe they’ve done something to be uncomfortable about.  I’ve forgiven them. It wasn’t easy, but I did. Forgiving isn’t to be confused with forgetting.  They are not part of my life.

Why don’t you just lose weight if you are bullied for being fat?  I wish it were that easy! I’ve had a bunch of medical problems that made me gain weight or made it hard for me to lose weight,. Honestly, being depressed, (and I am clinically depressed) doesn’t help.   I don’t want to go into my medical history, but  I’ve been sick for a long time, and recently went from being an active cheerleader to  couch bound for months, gaining a lot of weight. I want to lose weight. I have a new doctor who is really supportive and seems to be able to help me. I do not want to lose weight to be a better person, I am  fine the way I am, but I DO want to lose weight to be healthier.  There is also the emotional part of being overweight. I’ve always been “the fat girl” and it’s hard and scary for me to shed that.  Losing weight is more than just shedding pounds.

I’ve been overwhelmed with  being picked on and thinking no one cares.  I saw your video and you seem to have been going through the same thing. You promise things will get better.  When?  First of all, I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad and alone.  I get it.   I do.   Here’s the thing,  things don’t always get better right away.  Sometimes, it takes time.   Do you have someone you can talk to? I know it sounds cheesy, but  the school guidance counselor was really helpful to me. I still talk to the one in my school now. She’s really helpful when I’m overwhelmed at school.   You need to talk to someone, anyone who can know what is going on in your life. Maybe you can talk to your parents, your best friend, your best friends mom, your guidance counselor? A trusted teacher?   You have to accept you can’t do it alone. The only thing I accomplished alone was nearly killing myself. Looking back, I wish I had shared with my Mom sooner.

You are SO BRAVE to have shared your story!  No, I’m not, I was scared to death.  I’m still scared. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  I worried if people were going to bully me for telling about being bullied.  I worried that people would think I was just looking for attention. I worried that it would effect my family.  But I knew it was the right thing to do, so I did. I really hope that I can stop one person from harming themselves.  That will make it worth it. I am trying to #BeBrave

How do you think you can help other kids?  First of all, by sharing my story, I hope I can show kids it DOES GET BETTER. Middle School and High School are not forever.  and secondly, I really want to  encourage people to stand up for others.   I have a whole post swimming around in my head about it, but the thing is: PEOPLE HAVE GOT TO STAND UP FOR EACH OTHER and SIMPLY STOP BEING MEAN.  Hiding behind  computer screens and  online anonymity is the REAL mark of a coward.   If you see someone being hurt, physically or mentally,  DO SOMETHING.   Be a face to face friend, not an online enemy.  #BeBrave.

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If you have a chance, please take a minute to share THIS ARTICLE from Babble.com. Joslyn Gray wrote up my story in the exact way I wanted it told.

Since I ADORE Ellen Degeneres and the way she always tries to help people- I’d LOVE to get her to share my story- if you tweet, will you please tweet her :

@TheEllenShow  Please help us all #BeBrave and share @Loser_Gurls story! http://ow.ly/pQQGG #nomorebullying

I heard she pays attention if she gets lots of tweets or Facebook post.  Think of how many people we can help if she shared!  Thank you!

 

 


My Story-

045Last week, someone I love very much tried to kill themself.  I know all too well the feeling of hopelessness and anguish that  can bring you to that point. When you are surrounded by so much NOTHING that the only one way out= to become nothing.

Just as I know now, oh so importantly, that  IT GETS BETTER. It does.

I decided now is the time to share MY story, my whole story.  About  how I was bullied- not just in High School, or Middle School, but how it started in 2nd grade.  I was 8.  I was different- in my case, I was overweight.  It never mattered that I was sick, and it caused me to gain weight, all people saw was my body. They didn’t see me.  I learned from age 8 that I was  worthless. I learned how to smile through tears. I learned how to hide pain. I learned how to accept  shards of friendship becasue I thought it was all I was deserving of.  It only got worse. Much worse.

Why?  Because I am fat.  I have been fat since I was small because my thyroid went crazy and for reasons I couldn’t have helped, I gained a lot of weight.  I started hiding behind it because it was me. I was the fat girl, and I was worthless. Then as I got older I got other sicknesses that  helped me gain weight. Depression did the rest.

Here is my story:

I came close to ending my life  simply because other people didn’t like what they saw, and I let them make me a victim.  I let my self doubt, and yes, even self hatred spiral me into a pit I nearly didn’t crawl out of.

But, I did crawl out of it.

I made a decision that I was worthy, I was special, I was beautiful.  I deserve to be happy, and I am going to be. I choose to believe in ME.  Not what others see or think or say. I want to lose weight, sure. But even if I don’t lose a pound, I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am not a size or a number on a scale.  I am so much more than that.

And I want to be there, to SHOUT TO EACH AND EVERY OTHER PERSON who is being told they are worthless, pathetic, losers that  You are NOT.  You are a worthy, wonderful gift to this earth and maybe they don’t see it, hell, maybe even YOU don’t see it, but you are!  Love yourself.  YOU deserve it. and if no one else can see it, too bad.

Find someone who does see who you are and how wonderful you are and believe them when they tell you.  Find an ally.  Be an ally to others.  Share our strength.  Share positive words and smiles.  Believe with everything you are that  everyone is beautiful and had worth.

 

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