Monthly Archives: March 2012

You ARE Perfect

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I had  been feeling down on myself lately. REALLY down.  But I am finally feeling better after talking to someone about how I was feeling and I realized that I am ok- maybe not perfect, but no where near as bad as other people made me feel.  Someone shared a song with my Mom yesterday and told her to make sure I listened to it- so I did, and then I decided to write this on Facebook:

If you have ever felt bad about yourself, insecure, like you are not good enough, like this status.

In 20 minutes it got 65 likes.  65 LIKES.

Here’s a few of the comments that were left.

A:  Too many times :/

ME:  well, trust me, you’re not alone.

A: I know. Too many of us deal with the same problem. We feel alone, yet we are not… In a way…

F: That’s way too many likes to be good.

Me:  Exactly. But see none of us are alone.

I realized that is part of the way I was feeling- alone with the stuff I was dealing with, and I totally was not.  It wasn’t easy going to someone and saying; Hey- I need to talk to you- I’m feeling sad and bad about myself and I need to talk about it.  But I did feel better after saying it and getting it all out there.   Not 100% better, not even 60% better at first, but  I was able to feel better rather than worse.

So what should you do when you are feeling that way?  Talk to someone- find someone, anyone to talk to.  Pray. I’m not super religious or anything, but one this is for sure: He is always listening. (just remember He may answer right away, or give you the answer you want)  Find ONE thing, ONE THING that you can like or enjoy- it can be something small, but just hold on to find the joy in one thing again. Try to stay away from the negative things  and people that are bringing you down. It can be really hard when they are your “friends” but if they are really your friends, they should want to bring you up, not tear you down. Saying ” just kidding” or “no offense” isn’t ok.

Love one thing about yourself.  Even if it’s how cute your little toe is, or how you dog loves to snuggle with you at night or you can always make your brother laugh, . there is something loveable about every single one of us. Find yours and LOVE IT.

And listen to the song, watch this video and remember this.

Pretty, pretty please

Don’t you ever, ever feel

Like your less than PERFECT!

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Hey- I want to make a little video- so if you have ever felt bad about your self- less than perfect- I want to put together a video of people with a cool song.  If you want to be a part of it, send me a pic of you at ally@losergurl.com.   Make sure you ask your parents first (my mom said I had to say that). Nothing mean, or dirty, just a pic of you saying how you feel about yourself. Remember, you’re beautiful!


A Challenge

This week our school had an assembly on Rachael’s Challenge.   Rachael Scott was the first person to die in the Columbine School Massacre, but her message of hope, acceptance and inspiration did not die with her.  Her family tells her message for her, since she is not here to do it for herself.   Rachel Challenges us to make our world better by using 5 steps:

  1. Look for the best in others, eliminate prejudice and be
    accepting.
  2. Dream big- set goals- keep a journal.
  3. Choose positive influences.
  4. Small acts of kindness reap huge results..
  5. Start a chain reaction of kindness.

I love this whole program – it’s totally the way that I feel that we should ALL live our lives.   Every single  one is important-  looking for the best in others, dream big, choose positive influences, even small acts of kindness count,and   start a chain reaction!   I try my best to live this way – actually I did way before I ever heard about the challenge- and  I LOVE that now the WHOLE school  hear it- and I do think that they really listened,  or at least most of them did.  And I love that I went back later and saw it again with my family- my Mom and Dad and brother. A lot of people in my community went to see it, too. I wish everyone had- it’s really a message that everyone needs to hear.

Here’s the thing.  I’ve been really down lately about some things going on.  REALLY down.  As in, honestly I’ve been kinda depressed and sad and well, just not in a good place, at all. I’ve been talking to my Mom and others about it. but I’ve had some problems with people and even though I am strong, I can fall to bad places and have to fight to bring myself up. I’m working on it, though. Here’s something AWESOME that happened after the school presentation.   One of the people that I’ve been sad and upset about came up to me after the challenge, and  we talked. And it was ok.  We are ok. Not  friends, but not enemies.  Someone I can smile at in the halls now and not wonder, or worry.

Here’s the thing- in a nutshell- don’t worry about what people look like, talk like, dress like, who they hang out with, sleep with, love, don’t love, have good grades, have sucky grades,  have lots of friends, have no friends, are rich, or poor, are cool, or are not. JUST BE NICE.  Be nice to everyone you meet. Being nice is like a gift that you can give away again and again- it will always be instantly renewable- you will NEVER RUN OUT of it. The weird thing is that if you are always nice and kind to people- you will find that mostly they are the same to you. You get your gift back!

And here’s another thing:  you never know what someone else is going through.  Maybe that one time you look at someone and smile, or say hi, or tell someone that you like their hair today, or that they’re nice or any kind of nice thing can be the ONE thing that  brings them up from the bottom.   Remember, “Words have power. They can lift you up to the clouds or they can break you down completely.”  Choose wisely.

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Making a Change

Dealing with that mean person who left nasty comments on my Tumblr and told me to kill myself because I was fat and worthless  took a lot out of me.  In fact, it took me to a bad scary place where I was really sad and hurt and mad and feeling kinda worthless and just like I said, a bad place.   I talked to my Mom about it and we figured it all out.

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I cried,I admit it.  I cried a lot, and it helped to let all that  hurt and rage and bad feelings out. I decided that I wasn’t going to let someone have that much power over me to feel so terrible and worthless all because I’m fat.  I am fat, there is no hiding that. I am who I am.

 

But who am I?  I am  a nice person who has decided that I am not happy being unhealthy, so I’m working on  it.  I am not happy not being able to buy the clothes I want, so I’m working on it.  I’m not happy being “the fat girl” when I am so much more than that. I am a defender of bullied people.   I STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. And I stand up for myself.

I’m working on changing and getting healthier and eating well and working out. Tonight I went to the gym with my Mom and worked out- I biked like 5 miles, did 120 crunches and then did a few miles on the treadmill.  We’re signed up for a Spin class on Sunday. I want to learn about weights, I think , and we are still eating well. We are really wanting to find a nutritionist or someone to help us with how to deal with food.Maybe tomorrow we won’t go to the gym, we’ll just walk. But I know I’ll do something.

I am not going to let one troll keep me down.   I am STRONGER than that.

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